"I'll have a grande 5-pump, no water, soy Chai with one Sweet & Low at 145 degrees with light foam, and make sure it's light foam and 145 degrees."
I got this from a customer a couple of weeks back. This, or at least something similar, spawned the "Self-Entitlement" song we are fond of singing at Starbucks. I constantly struggle with being okay with who I actually am and trying not to seek validation from others' opinions of me. The funny thing is that when people do this, they get the opposite result they want, most times. Let it be stated forthright that I'm talking about myself moreso than anyone else in this blog.
(I'll keep this blog short, if only to forgo getting down on myself for being stupidly guilty of this for enjoying the lovely day outside)
God made us who we are. Most often times, if not all of the time, any bad habits we have are actually good habits or things that are misdirected. God gave us the genes He did on purpose, gave us the parents He did for a reason, gave us our eccentricities intentionally. Wishing you were different or trying to be different or your idea of better than who you are is, at it's core, dishonoring God. If people don't like you for who you are, then they won't be your friend and that is totally okay.
The fact you like stupidly complicated drinks doesn't make you cool or any better of a person, it gives you no more control over your life. Anyone who knows me knows I have liked my stupidly complicated drinks, hopefully they know me well enough to know that I recently have simplified my drinks. I can still taste the difference between half a pump and a whole pump of vanilla in my chai, but I'm now less picky about it. I've also given up my double tall, half-caf, breve, wet cappuccino with two raw sugars.
Stop having pretenses about yourself, be honest. Stop the constant self-evaluation, love yourself as your neighbor. Just freaking love God, dummy. You know how to do this.
Love,
Colton
P.S. This probably has a darker tone than I meant to, probably because I was fretting over how much of a butthole I can be at times. It's honestly not such a grave thing, everyone does it and God probably just chuckles at how silly we are. To quote Aaron Weiss, "We're like children dressing in our parents' clothes, saying 'nobody knows me, nobody knows me, no one knows my name.'" Fret not, loves and children, God loves us through our pretentiousness and general silliness. Reread this while having in mind the scene of sitting in a sunny window. After you reread this, go outside and enjoy the sun, free from glass.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Thoughts on Progress, Regression, and Stagnation.
Progress, you strange and fickle thing.
I think I've mentioned before how I'm frustrated with having to learn the same lessons over again. This is better than never learning them, but isn't the first choice, were the matter a choice. Let's take my diet for example. For a while I had a decent diet, eating wheat bread rather than white, getting grilled instead of fried chicken, getting salads and the like. Somewhere along the road, that regressed back to my previous diet of Hardee's and frozen pizza. I'm not sure when it happened, but it did and that's little frustrating. Part of it may have been convenience, since salads are more work to eat than a burger. Perhaps it was due to cost since eating healthy is expensive. Whatever the reason, I regressed and I'm now going to try and at least somewhat get back on that since I'm working out with some frequency now.
It's the same with reading my Bible and praying. For a while, I did both frequently, but somewhere along the line, I began to do these things less. I think a lot of it is due to my trying to use my emotions to propel me to do things. Emotions die down, then so does whatever they're fueling.
Our society is all about convenience and rarely about quality. Things that are of lesser quality are easier and cheaper to produce. Without going all ranty about society and apathy, I'll simply voice my distaste for the problem of American convenience with this: The easy, cheap way is rarely a good way and I hate that I've been indoctrinated into not only settling for, but desiring the convenient way. This thought process is pervasive into every aspect of life. It's much easier to watch T.V. than to actually read a book and think. It's easier to think about someone than to actually talk to them. Simply settling, that is stagnation, and stagnation is no bueno.
The thing with this mindset is that after a while, we begin to regress as a society. We lose people skills when given the choice of communicating exclusively through Facebook. We lose comprehension skills when all we read is online magazine articles. This is too deep a topic to really properly get into when it's nearing midnight and I have work at five in the morning, and again, I don't want to get preachy if only because I'm terribly guilty of all this myself.
In conclusion? Crap, I don't know. I guess trying to power through doing the hard, better stuff while not riding emotion is all we can try to do. There's a scripture on going from glory to glory in the Bible somewhere, I've never been 100% on the context or intended meaning, but I do know that simply because of age, we gain experience, then knowledge, then wisdom. All it takes to achieve those things is a genuine concern for progress. It's awfully frustrating, trying to have the world figured out at 20 years old, though. I'm not totally bought into the idea that I know everything, rather I'm aware that I don't, but I'm trying to anyway.
Love,
Colton
P.S. Here's a quote from a song that's semi-relevant to the topic. I'm a big copy-cat since Haylee posted lyrics in her last blog, too.
Salvation just an emotion like the one you're riding now.
The foundation was never there.
Turn on burn not the most peaceful thing, but truth is out of my hands.
Love is never easy.
Not too attractive for the weak.
-Maylene and the Sons of Disaster
I think I've mentioned before how I'm frustrated with having to learn the same lessons over again. This is better than never learning them, but isn't the first choice, were the matter a choice. Let's take my diet for example. For a while I had a decent diet, eating wheat bread rather than white, getting grilled instead of fried chicken, getting salads and the like. Somewhere along the road, that regressed back to my previous diet of Hardee's and frozen pizza. I'm not sure when it happened, but it did and that's little frustrating. Part of it may have been convenience, since salads are more work to eat than a burger. Perhaps it was due to cost since eating healthy is expensive. Whatever the reason, I regressed and I'm now going to try and at least somewhat get back on that since I'm working out with some frequency now.
It's the same with reading my Bible and praying. For a while, I did both frequently, but somewhere along the line, I began to do these things less. I think a lot of it is due to my trying to use my emotions to propel me to do things. Emotions die down, then so does whatever they're fueling.
Our society is all about convenience and rarely about quality. Things that are of lesser quality are easier and cheaper to produce. Without going all ranty about society and apathy, I'll simply voice my distaste for the problem of American convenience with this: The easy, cheap way is rarely a good way and I hate that I've been indoctrinated into not only settling for, but desiring the convenient way. This thought process is pervasive into every aspect of life. It's much easier to watch T.V. than to actually read a book and think. It's easier to think about someone than to actually talk to them. Simply settling, that is stagnation, and stagnation is no bueno.
The thing with this mindset is that after a while, we begin to regress as a society. We lose people skills when given the choice of communicating exclusively through Facebook. We lose comprehension skills when all we read is online magazine articles. This is too deep a topic to really properly get into when it's nearing midnight and I have work at five in the morning, and again, I don't want to get preachy if only because I'm terribly guilty of all this myself.
In conclusion? Crap, I don't know. I guess trying to power through doing the hard, better stuff while not riding emotion is all we can try to do. There's a scripture on going from glory to glory in the Bible somewhere, I've never been 100% on the context or intended meaning, but I do know that simply because of age, we gain experience, then knowledge, then wisdom. All it takes to achieve those things is a genuine concern for progress. It's awfully frustrating, trying to have the world figured out at 20 years old, though. I'm not totally bought into the idea that I know everything, rather I'm aware that I don't, but I'm trying to anyway.
Love,
Colton
P.S. Here's a quote from a song that's semi-relevant to the topic. I'm a big copy-cat since Haylee posted lyrics in her last blog, too.
Salvation just an emotion like the one you're riding now.
The foundation was never there.
Turn on burn not the most peaceful thing, but truth is out of my hands.
Love is never easy.
Not too attractive for the weak.
-Maylene and the Sons of Disaster
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