So I've not blogged since January. I apologize, I now owe whoever reads my blog about five posts. I've not sat down long enough to flesh out any ideas I've had floating around. I've attempted to write a blog a couple of times but I never got around to finishing them. Here's what I had:
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(This would have been titled "Thoughts on the Altered Consciousness and Necessity of Human Contact".)
"Separation lets the Devil in." -Adam Lutts
As much
as I say that I would like to hermit myself away in a cabin for a year,
it's not something I could do forever. I like being by myself, but I
need people, not only emotionally, but physically. Have you ever noticed
how when you break the touch barrier with someone--the point at which
you purposefully make physical contact with another person rather than
accidental--you grow much closer to them? Their jokes are funnier,
you're happier to be around them, you think about them more often. It's
not in a romantic way, though it can be.
I love hugs. I love them.
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("Thoughts on the Bad, the Understandable, and the Best")
God's Grace is a dang wonderful thing. The thing that is kind of
frustrating is that it's oftentimes really hard to tell what is good and
acceptable and what is not, simply because the intent of our hearts is
the determining factor is this. I think that because of God's Grace, our
actions and thoughts as Christians are loosely divided into three
categories: the Bad, the Understandable, and the Best. The Bad and the
Understandable are kind of grey and the lines aren't so defined. The Bad
is a pretty recognizable thing, including things like lying, murdering
people
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Those are some of the thoughts I had during my radio silence these past few months. I've had a couple of friends comment on how they weren't sure I was alive. I am, mostly. I've just . . . I dunno, been quiet. The clarity I have at times is now escaping me. It'll come back. The murk I find myself in will subside, I'll be loud and at my happiest again. One thing I've had trouble remembering since I had learned it is that the peaks and valleys aren't always a bad thing. The peaks are so much fun, I'm always so happy up there and things come so naturally and easy, but I can't stay there forever. It does need to be said that in the valleys, I'm not at my best and I'm more prone to succumbing to my inherent sinful nature. That is to say, I'm a butthole.
The solution to this valley and my mild butthole nature right now? Read my Bible more and more consistently and purposefully, pray more consistently, stuff like that. It's really simple, basic stuff. The foundational stuff is foundational for a reason.
I'm trying my best to grow up. Hopefully, prayerfully, by the time I'm all grown up and stuff I'll have good habits in place. And crap, I don't want to be a Christian moralist, one who focuses completely on morals and tacks Jesus' name onto what I believe. No, I want Jesus to be the center of what I believe.
Also, but much less importantly, I hope I can successfully work out getting a new car in the next month.
Love,
Colton
