The greatest joy we will ever experience is being used by God, doing the things He's made us to do. God did not make the larger portion of us for middle management desk jobs, which is why a lot of people in those positions are unhappy. God did not make us to run around incessantly, giving ourselves away and for little to no price. God did not make us to feed our own egos.
God made us to lift each other up, to encourage one another. God made us to learn who He really is, not our preconceived ideas of Him. God made us to love and be loved.
Cast down your cynicisms and build up your brother. Fret not, because God is certainly good.
Love,
Colton
P.S. I chose not to sleep last night, this is a by-product of my experiences and lessons learned over the last while as seen through sleepy eyes.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
The Reason We're All Buttholes
I couldn't honestly say if this theory is Biblically supported. To avoid any potential heresy, let me go ahead and clarify that I think that sinning and being a jerk or a butthole or otherwise acting in an inconsiderate, uncaring manner are two different things. Many times they involve the other, but they are not inherently the same thing. To stay as close to the Bible as I can, let's quote some scripture that is pertinent to my point I am going to pontificate. But first, I must note that I purposefully placed the words in this and the previous sentence to alliterate, because I do so love to alliterate. Righty then.
". . . for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," -Romans 3:23
Let it be clarified that first and foremost we are all uncaring jerks. This is because we are sinful, fallen creatures, which is made abundantly clear in the Scriptures. Everything that we do that is unpleasant can usually be boiled down to the fact that we are all effected by the human condition. What I'm looking at is a more specific reason and a very common cause as to why we are jerks and buttholes.
We, as humans, act in unkind, uncaring, generally jerky and dickish ways most often times because we have been hurt in one way or another.
Is this an excuse for our behavior? Mostly no. It means we should have grace when someone is a jerk to us. It means we should aim to avoid hurting people. Hurting people and being hurt are unavoidable, unfortunately. We are a broken people living in a world we broke long ago and continue to break. God is sovereign and is Love and is the Savior of the universe, however, and our actions are made small in the sight of a really big and great God. Let me repeat that: God is Love and our brokenness is inconsequential because of His grace.
It should be noted that many times when we've acted uncaringly, it's because we simply were being inconsiderate. Does that excuse it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. We should still feel bad for hurting someone and we should still try to rectify it, but this is just another reason why we act the way we do. The larger problem of acting out of hurt is the main focus here, however.
I've used the example before of humans being like dogs and God being the master. You get a pack of dogs and they can be loving and playful one minute, but can turn on each other the next, snapping at each other, then being hurt because they were snapped at which causes them to snap at each other even more. With all our combined knowledge and technology, we can never get over our jealousies, our pride, our hurt, our human nature. We are like dogs who return to their own vomit. Hey, that sounds vaguely familiar.
In no attempt to justify or excuse my actions, let me tell you that most of the times and possibly even all of the times that I've been a jerk or acted in an unloving way, it's because I was hurt. I've ignored customers at my job when I've been emotionally hurt. I've ignored friends who have tried to help me when I've been hurt. Should I have tried to get over my hurt at least to the point that I'm not a jerk to people? Absolutely, but unless I was wallowing in my hurt, I don't think God will be very upset with me for acting human.
I won't drown you with examples of this like I tend to do when making a point. The point tends to make itself. Just think about the last time you were a jerk to someone, you should see what I mean. The catch is when we act in response to things we don't know we're hurt about. Whether it was our parents not telling us they were proud of us leading to machoism in guys or mothers not showing love to their daughters leading to controlling women, we act out of our hurt.
Please, please, please, try to examine yourself and see why you act the way you do. If someone has accused you of being a jerk, find the root cause of why they think that. Either they have been hurt and are interpreting your actions as being unkind or you have acted unkind because of some hurt you've experienced, the latter being the more common reason. We are, a lot of times, unaware of our own true intentions, be them good or bad. A good quick start to fix any hurtful situation or to avoid them in the future is to act out of love, which many times starts with just being nicer and more humble. Crazy idea, I know. Just be open to the idea that there is a reason why someone is crappy person, other than them simply being a crappy person. Be open to the idea that you yourself have acted uncaringly and unkindly and that that is why someone has acted that way to you. No one started it, no one is the first to blame, we're all hurt, let's understand this and move on.
I have many times not acted out of love and I regret and am sorry for each one of those times. If I have hurt you, you are more than welcome to tell me about it and I will give you the sincerest apology I can muster. I may explain to you why I acted the way I did, which may or may not lessen your hurt, but I will hopefully not try to excuse my actions.
In conclusion, know this: when people are jerks, it's probably due to the fact that they are feeble, hurting people. Have grace for them like your Father has grace for you. (I feel like that is in the Bible somewhere) Forgive and forget, that's what 1 Cor. 13 tells us.
I love you as much as my feeble human form will let me. We are all dicks. Please excuse the vulgarities, but they're necessary to show how crappy we all are. I'm sorry for treating my friends and loved ones badly. Let us all forgive one another and look to Jesus, the only one who can make us less crappy.
Love,
Colton
P.S. It should be noted that I'm terrible at this. I realize the need to have grace for people for this reason, but I'm not very good at it so I apologize if it came off as if I thought I was. If Paul was the chief of sinners, consider me king of buttholes.
". . . for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," -Romans 3:23
Let it be clarified that first and foremost we are all uncaring jerks. This is because we are sinful, fallen creatures, which is made abundantly clear in the Scriptures. Everything that we do that is unpleasant can usually be boiled down to the fact that we are all effected by the human condition. What I'm looking at is a more specific reason and a very common cause as to why we are jerks and buttholes.
We, as humans, act in unkind, uncaring, generally jerky and dickish ways most often times because we have been hurt in one way or another.
Is this an excuse for our behavior? Mostly no. It means we should have grace when someone is a jerk to us. It means we should aim to avoid hurting people. Hurting people and being hurt are unavoidable, unfortunately. We are a broken people living in a world we broke long ago and continue to break. God is sovereign and is Love and is the Savior of the universe, however, and our actions are made small in the sight of a really big and great God. Let me repeat that: God is Love and our brokenness is inconsequential because of His grace.
It should be noted that many times when we've acted uncaringly, it's because we simply were being inconsiderate. Does that excuse it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. We should still feel bad for hurting someone and we should still try to rectify it, but this is just another reason why we act the way we do. The larger problem of acting out of hurt is the main focus here, however.
I've used the example before of humans being like dogs and God being the master. You get a pack of dogs and they can be loving and playful one minute, but can turn on each other the next, snapping at each other, then being hurt because they were snapped at which causes them to snap at each other even more. With all our combined knowledge and technology, we can never get over our jealousies, our pride, our hurt, our human nature. We are like dogs who return to their own vomit. Hey, that sounds vaguely familiar.
In no attempt to justify or excuse my actions, let me tell you that most of the times and possibly even all of the times that I've been a jerk or acted in an unloving way, it's because I was hurt. I've ignored customers at my job when I've been emotionally hurt. I've ignored friends who have tried to help me when I've been hurt. Should I have tried to get over my hurt at least to the point that I'm not a jerk to people? Absolutely, but unless I was wallowing in my hurt, I don't think God will be very upset with me for acting human.
I won't drown you with examples of this like I tend to do when making a point. The point tends to make itself. Just think about the last time you were a jerk to someone, you should see what I mean. The catch is when we act in response to things we don't know we're hurt about. Whether it was our parents not telling us they were proud of us leading to machoism in guys or mothers not showing love to their daughters leading to controlling women, we act out of our hurt.
Please, please, please, try to examine yourself and see why you act the way you do. If someone has accused you of being a jerk, find the root cause of why they think that. Either they have been hurt and are interpreting your actions as being unkind or you have acted unkind because of some hurt you've experienced, the latter being the more common reason. We are, a lot of times, unaware of our own true intentions, be them good or bad. A good quick start to fix any hurtful situation or to avoid them in the future is to act out of love, which many times starts with just being nicer and more humble. Crazy idea, I know. Just be open to the idea that there is a reason why someone is crappy person, other than them simply being a crappy person. Be open to the idea that you yourself have acted uncaringly and unkindly and that that is why someone has acted that way to you. No one started it, no one is the first to blame, we're all hurt, let's understand this and move on.
I have many times not acted out of love and I regret and am sorry for each one of those times. If I have hurt you, you are more than welcome to tell me about it and I will give you the sincerest apology I can muster. I may explain to you why I acted the way I did, which may or may not lessen your hurt, but I will hopefully not try to excuse my actions.
In conclusion, know this: when people are jerks, it's probably due to the fact that they are feeble, hurting people. Have grace for them like your Father has grace for you. (I feel like that is in the Bible somewhere) Forgive and forget, that's what 1 Cor. 13 tells us.
I love you as much as my feeble human form will let me. We are all dicks. Please excuse the vulgarities, but they're necessary to show how crappy we all are. I'm sorry for treating my friends and loved ones badly. Let us all forgive one another and look to Jesus, the only one who can make us less crappy.
Love,
Colton
P.S. It should be noted that I'm terrible at this. I realize the need to have grace for people for this reason, but I'm not very good at it so I apologize if it came off as if I thought I was. If Paul was the chief of sinners, consider me king of buttholes.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Thoughts on Being Okay with Who You Are (and Pretentiousness)
"I'll have a grande 5-pump, no water, soy Chai with one Sweet & Low at 145 degrees with light foam, and make sure it's light foam and 145 degrees."
I got this from a customer a couple of weeks back. This, or at least something similar, spawned the "Self-Entitlement" song we are fond of singing at Starbucks. I constantly struggle with being okay with who I actually am and trying not to seek validation from others' opinions of me. The funny thing is that when people do this, they get the opposite result they want, most times. Let it be stated forthright that I'm talking about myself moreso than anyone else in this blog.
(I'll keep this blog short, if only to forgo getting down on myself for being stupidly guilty of this for enjoying the lovely day outside)
God made us who we are. Most often times, if not all of the time, any bad habits we have are actually good habits or things that are misdirected. God gave us the genes He did on purpose, gave us the parents He did for a reason, gave us our eccentricities intentionally. Wishing you were different or trying to be different or your idea of better than who you are is, at it's core, dishonoring God. If people don't like you for who you are, then they won't be your friend and that is totally okay.
The fact you like stupidly complicated drinks doesn't make you cool or any better of a person, it gives you no more control over your life. Anyone who knows me knows I have liked my stupidly complicated drinks, hopefully they know me well enough to know that I recently have simplified my drinks. I can still taste the difference between half a pump and a whole pump of vanilla in my chai, but I'm now less picky about it. I've also given up my double tall, half-caf, breve, wet cappuccino with two raw sugars.
Stop having pretenses about yourself, be honest. Stop the constant self-evaluation, love yourself as your neighbor. Just freaking love God, dummy. You know how to do this.
Love,
Colton
P.S. This probably has a darker tone than I meant to, probably because I was fretting over how much of a butthole I can be at times. It's honestly not such a grave thing, everyone does it and God probably just chuckles at how silly we are. To quote Aaron Weiss, "We're like children dressing in our parents' clothes, saying 'nobody knows me, nobody knows me, no one knows my name.'" Fret not, loves and children, God loves us through our pretentiousness and general silliness. Reread this while having in mind the scene of sitting in a sunny window. After you reread this, go outside and enjoy the sun, free from glass.
I got this from a customer a couple of weeks back. This, or at least something similar, spawned the "Self-Entitlement" song we are fond of singing at Starbucks. I constantly struggle with being okay with who I actually am and trying not to seek validation from others' opinions of me. The funny thing is that when people do this, they get the opposite result they want, most times. Let it be stated forthright that I'm talking about myself moreso than anyone else in this blog.
(I'll keep this blog short, if only to forgo getting down on myself for being stupidly guilty of this for enjoying the lovely day outside)
God made us who we are. Most often times, if not all of the time, any bad habits we have are actually good habits or things that are misdirected. God gave us the genes He did on purpose, gave us the parents He did for a reason, gave us our eccentricities intentionally. Wishing you were different or trying to be different or your idea of better than who you are is, at it's core, dishonoring God. If people don't like you for who you are, then they won't be your friend and that is totally okay.
The fact you like stupidly complicated drinks doesn't make you cool or any better of a person, it gives you no more control over your life. Anyone who knows me knows I have liked my stupidly complicated drinks, hopefully they know me well enough to know that I recently have simplified my drinks. I can still taste the difference between half a pump and a whole pump of vanilla in my chai, but I'm now less picky about it. I've also given up my double tall, half-caf, breve, wet cappuccino with two raw sugars.
Stop having pretenses about yourself, be honest. Stop the constant self-evaluation, love yourself as your neighbor. Just freaking love God, dummy. You know how to do this.
Love,
Colton
P.S. This probably has a darker tone than I meant to, probably because I was fretting over how much of a butthole I can be at times. It's honestly not such a grave thing, everyone does it and God probably just chuckles at how silly we are. To quote Aaron Weiss, "We're like children dressing in our parents' clothes, saying 'nobody knows me, nobody knows me, no one knows my name.'" Fret not, loves and children, God loves us through our pretentiousness and general silliness. Reread this while having in mind the scene of sitting in a sunny window. After you reread this, go outside and enjoy the sun, free from glass.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Thoughts on Progress, Regression, and Stagnation.
Progress, you strange and fickle thing.
I think I've mentioned before how I'm frustrated with having to learn the same lessons over again. This is better than never learning them, but isn't the first choice, were the matter a choice. Let's take my diet for example. For a while I had a decent diet, eating wheat bread rather than white, getting grilled instead of fried chicken, getting salads and the like. Somewhere along the road, that regressed back to my previous diet of Hardee's and frozen pizza. I'm not sure when it happened, but it did and that's little frustrating. Part of it may have been convenience, since salads are more work to eat than a burger. Perhaps it was due to cost since eating healthy is expensive. Whatever the reason, I regressed and I'm now going to try and at least somewhat get back on that since I'm working out with some frequency now.
It's the same with reading my Bible and praying. For a while, I did both frequently, but somewhere along the line, I began to do these things less. I think a lot of it is due to my trying to use my emotions to propel me to do things. Emotions die down, then so does whatever they're fueling.
Our society is all about convenience and rarely about quality. Things that are of lesser quality are easier and cheaper to produce. Without going all ranty about society and apathy, I'll simply voice my distaste for the problem of American convenience with this: The easy, cheap way is rarely a good way and I hate that I've been indoctrinated into not only settling for, but desiring the convenient way. This thought process is pervasive into every aspect of life. It's much easier to watch T.V. than to actually read a book and think. It's easier to think about someone than to actually talk to them. Simply settling, that is stagnation, and stagnation is no bueno.
The thing with this mindset is that after a while, we begin to regress as a society. We lose people skills when given the choice of communicating exclusively through Facebook. We lose comprehension skills when all we read is online magazine articles. This is too deep a topic to really properly get into when it's nearing midnight and I have work at five in the morning, and again, I don't want to get preachy if only because I'm terribly guilty of all this myself.
In conclusion? Crap, I don't know. I guess trying to power through doing the hard, better stuff while not riding emotion is all we can try to do. There's a scripture on going from glory to glory in the Bible somewhere, I've never been 100% on the context or intended meaning, but I do know that simply because of age, we gain experience, then knowledge, then wisdom. All it takes to achieve those things is a genuine concern for progress. It's awfully frustrating, trying to have the world figured out at 20 years old, though. I'm not totally bought into the idea that I know everything, rather I'm aware that I don't, but I'm trying to anyway.
Love,
Colton
P.S. Here's a quote from a song that's semi-relevant to the topic. I'm a big copy-cat since Haylee posted lyrics in her last blog, too.
Salvation just an emotion like the one you're riding now.
The foundation was never there.
Turn on burn not the most peaceful thing, but truth is out of my hands.
Love is never easy.
Not too attractive for the weak.
-Maylene and the Sons of Disaster
I think I've mentioned before how I'm frustrated with having to learn the same lessons over again. This is better than never learning them, but isn't the first choice, were the matter a choice. Let's take my diet for example. For a while I had a decent diet, eating wheat bread rather than white, getting grilled instead of fried chicken, getting salads and the like. Somewhere along the road, that regressed back to my previous diet of Hardee's and frozen pizza. I'm not sure when it happened, but it did and that's little frustrating. Part of it may have been convenience, since salads are more work to eat than a burger. Perhaps it was due to cost since eating healthy is expensive. Whatever the reason, I regressed and I'm now going to try and at least somewhat get back on that since I'm working out with some frequency now.
It's the same with reading my Bible and praying. For a while, I did both frequently, but somewhere along the line, I began to do these things less. I think a lot of it is due to my trying to use my emotions to propel me to do things. Emotions die down, then so does whatever they're fueling.
Our society is all about convenience and rarely about quality. Things that are of lesser quality are easier and cheaper to produce. Without going all ranty about society and apathy, I'll simply voice my distaste for the problem of American convenience with this: The easy, cheap way is rarely a good way and I hate that I've been indoctrinated into not only settling for, but desiring the convenient way. This thought process is pervasive into every aspect of life. It's much easier to watch T.V. than to actually read a book and think. It's easier to think about someone than to actually talk to them. Simply settling, that is stagnation, and stagnation is no bueno.
The thing with this mindset is that after a while, we begin to regress as a society. We lose people skills when given the choice of communicating exclusively through Facebook. We lose comprehension skills when all we read is online magazine articles. This is too deep a topic to really properly get into when it's nearing midnight and I have work at five in the morning, and again, I don't want to get preachy if only because I'm terribly guilty of all this myself.
In conclusion? Crap, I don't know. I guess trying to power through doing the hard, better stuff while not riding emotion is all we can try to do. There's a scripture on going from glory to glory in the Bible somewhere, I've never been 100% on the context or intended meaning, but I do know that simply because of age, we gain experience, then knowledge, then wisdom. All it takes to achieve those things is a genuine concern for progress. It's awfully frustrating, trying to have the world figured out at 20 years old, though. I'm not totally bought into the idea that I know everything, rather I'm aware that I don't, but I'm trying to anyway.
Love,
Colton
P.S. Here's a quote from a song that's semi-relevant to the topic. I'm a big copy-cat since Haylee posted lyrics in her last blog, too.
Salvation just an emotion like the one you're riding now.
The foundation was never there.
Turn on burn not the most peaceful thing, but truth is out of my hands.
Love is never easy.
Not too attractive for the weak.
-Maylene and the Sons of Disaster
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
On the Mezzanine Floor
"Everyone I know seems to be having a hard time right now." Those were the words of consolation my mom offered as I trudged off to my room today. Sometimes our spiritual seasons don't match the seasons of the earth, but sometimes they do. I've heard it's supposed to get cold again this week before it finally warms up for Spring. I tend to get bogged down easily with things. I let things get to me through my convoluted, over-analyzation of things that leads me to confusion rather than an answer. I don't understand who God is a lot of times. This is the third draft of this blog simply because I don't know what to say.
I am not a new Christian anymore. My relationship with God has been tried and tested and I'm still here, aware of the fact that God is very real and very faithful. I've got the concept of John 3:16 down. I think the next thing I, as a Christian, need to understand is found in 1 Corinthians 13. I won't go into breaking it down and saying what it is I need to learn and why I need to learn it, that's too tedious a task for my level of tiredness right now. God is Love and Love is very clearly defined in here. My hermeneutically sensitive friends will probably point out my failure to include context in removing this chapter from the rest of the book, but it stands well enough on it's own.
I think I'm going to sit down and try to memorize the whole chapter. I've forgotten most of the scriptures I've memorized simply because my mind doesn't retain things well, but this is too important to let myself forget. I've a lot on my mind that I either can't or don't want to put into words right now, so I'll end with this:
" 1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
"4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
"8Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
"13So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
I'm trying to become a man now. I can not do this, nor anything else, apart from Love.
Love, perhaps,
Colton
P.S. I must admit that I stole the title and somewhat the idea from miss Haylee, since I can't exactly get away from giving credit where due since 50% of my readership was there when the conversation was had that sparked this blog.
I am not a new Christian anymore. My relationship with God has been tried and tested and I'm still here, aware of the fact that God is very real and very faithful. I've got the concept of John 3:16 down. I think the next thing I, as a Christian, need to understand is found in 1 Corinthians 13. I won't go into breaking it down and saying what it is I need to learn and why I need to learn it, that's too tedious a task for my level of tiredness right now. God is Love and Love is very clearly defined in here. My hermeneutically sensitive friends will probably point out my failure to include context in removing this chapter from the rest of the book, but it stands well enough on it's own.
I think I'm going to sit down and try to memorize the whole chapter. I've forgotten most of the scriptures I've memorized simply because my mind doesn't retain things well, but this is too important to let myself forget. I've a lot on my mind that I either can't or don't want to put into words right now, so I'll end with this:
" 1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
"4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
"8Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
"13So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
I'm trying to become a man now. I can not do this, nor anything else, apart from Love.
Love, perhaps,
Colton
P.S. I must admit that I stole the title and somewhat the idea from miss Haylee, since I can't exactly get away from giving credit where due since 50% of my readership was there when the conversation was had that sparked this blog.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Psalms 51, the Heart, and Getting What I Want
"16For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. 17The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. 18Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; build up the walls of Jerusalem; 19then will you delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar." Psalms 51:16-19
When I first read this while actually paying attention to what I was reading, it freaked me out. "But that's how they did things back then, having burnt sacrifices to attone," I thought. It messed with my head because that's how things were supposed to have changed in the New Testament. I then realized what people meant when they say that God is the same and is unchanging. It's always been about the heart, He's just changed how we interact with Him. Having a right heart is inescapable when wanting to deal and commune with God.
My dear friend Whitteny asked me how I communicated with God yesterday which was a question I'd never been asked before. My answer was something to the effect of "I thank Him a lot." It takes a certain amount of humility to thank someone. When thanking someone, you're showing your appreciation for something that someone did or something that happened that you didn't or couldn't have done yourself. Just the same, thanking God for whatever He's done is acknowledging that He's done something for you that you didn't do which means you've relied on Him to some degree. This is one way of showing humility while also showing your love and appreciation for God.
The Psalm above talks about a greater humility. Of course, it's possible to thank someone while not really meaning it. The broken and contrite heart is endlessly thankful and appreciative for anything that comes it's way. This Psalm says that God doesn't want our actions, but wants our heart to be accessible. Being contrite can be defined as being remorseful of our past sin and being resolved to avoid future sin. Basically, that's all there is to it. Yearning for God and avoiding sin not because sin is bad, but because it separates you from God. Once you do that, then He'll be happy with all the things you do for him.
I think I can say that I love God. Neither I, nor anyone else will be able to say that we loved God as much as we could, there's always something more we could have done. The important part, however, is having our heart in a good place, which is attained by following the above scripture. I'm at a point now where I'm tired of not experiencing what God has for me, not being obedient to His will for me. The thing that I've realized is that things are oftentimes not handed to people. To be obedient, one must pursue his (or her) destiny, for a lack of a better term.
In the Men's Fraternity meetings I've been attending, it was posed that Adam's sin didn't lie in eating the fruit so much as failing the task God set before him of protecting his wife and failing to own up to what he did. Let me pose this, then: if sin is moreso failing to fulfill God's plan for us, then having a broken and contrite heart, yearning to "go and sin no more," the heart would be filled with a desire to have what God has set for us. Of course, this is not the sole way of sinning, but it's a bigger part of it than we give it credit for.
All that said, I'm taking hold of my destiny. I've said before that I don't believe in coincidences, and I still don't, but I also don't believe in fate, or to use a more theological term, predestination. Obviously, it's possible to not make it to a destination you have plans to get to if you don't get in your car and drive there. Just the same, the future is not already written and has the chance of going differently than we or God has planned. There are some things that will come to pass, regardless, otherwise God wouldn't be God, but it's all too possible for a person to not live up to their destiny. Again, I'm taking hold of my destiny, my calling. I will have what I want and I will only do so with the help of God. But by God, I will have what is set for me.
Love,
Colton
P.S. I could go on this for a long time, talking about so many aspects of it, but I will leave it here, for here is enough to ponder. Also, I skipped breakfast to write this and it's almost lunch time.
When I first read this while actually paying attention to what I was reading, it freaked me out. "But that's how they did things back then, having burnt sacrifices to attone," I thought. It messed with my head because that's how things were supposed to have changed in the New Testament. I then realized what people meant when they say that God is the same and is unchanging. It's always been about the heart, He's just changed how we interact with Him. Having a right heart is inescapable when wanting to deal and commune with God.
My dear friend Whitteny asked me how I communicated with God yesterday which was a question I'd never been asked before. My answer was something to the effect of "I thank Him a lot." It takes a certain amount of humility to thank someone. When thanking someone, you're showing your appreciation for something that someone did or something that happened that you didn't or couldn't have done yourself. Just the same, thanking God for whatever He's done is acknowledging that He's done something for you that you didn't do which means you've relied on Him to some degree. This is one way of showing humility while also showing your love and appreciation for God.
The Psalm above talks about a greater humility. Of course, it's possible to thank someone while not really meaning it. The broken and contrite heart is endlessly thankful and appreciative for anything that comes it's way. This Psalm says that God doesn't want our actions, but wants our heart to be accessible. Being contrite can be defined as being remorseful of our past sin and being resolved to avoid future sin. Basically, that's all there is to it. Yearning for God and avoiding sin not because sin is bad, but because it separates you from God. Once you do that, then He'll be happy with all the things you do for him.
I think I can say that I love God. Neither I, nor anyone else will be able to say that we loved God as much as we could, there's always something more we could have done. The important part, however, is having our heart in a good place, which is attained by following the above scripture. I'm at a point now where I'm tired of not experiencing what God has for me, not being obedient to His will for me. The thing that I've realized is that things are oftentimes not handed to people. To be obedient, one must pursue his (or her) destiny, for a lack of a better term.
In the Men's Fraternity meetings I've been attending, it was posed that Adam's sin didn't lie in eating the fruit so much as failing the task God set before him of protecting his wife and failing to own up to what he did. Let me pose this, then: if sin is moreso failing to fulfill God's plan for us, then having a broken and contrite heart, yearning to "go and sin no more," the heart would be filled with a desire to have what God has set for us. Of course, this is not the sole way of sinning, but it's a bigger part of it than we give it credit for.
All that said, I'm taking hold of my destiny. I've said before that I don't believe in coincidences, and I still don't, but I also don't believe in fate, or to use a more theological term, predestination. Obviously, it's possible to not make it to a destination you have plans to get to if you don't get in your car and drive there. Just the same, the future is not already written and has the chance of going differently than we or God has planned. There are some things that will come to pass, regardless, otherwise God wouldn't be God, but it's all too possible for a person to not live up to their destiny. Again, I'm taking hold of my destiny, my calling. I will have what I want and I will only do so with the help of God. But by God, I will have what is set for me.
Love,
Colton
P.S. I could go on this for a long time, talking about so many aspects of it, but I will leave it here, for here is enough to ponder. Also, I skipped breakfast to write this and it's almost lunch time.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thoughts on Life, God, Relationships, and the Inescapable Human Imperfection
Fuck it, let's do this thing.
Love,
Colton
P.S. Thank you, Whitteny. For everything.
Love,
Colton
P.S. Thank you, Whitteny. For everything.
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