Thoughts on Speaking Loudly

Something I've learned about myself is that many times when I speak loudly when it's not necessary that I speak loudly, I'm saying something out of pride. I'll have acquired some great knowledge and I've decided to share it. The problem is, many times I've spoken loudly, I've spoken incorrectly. One time in particular comes to mind where I spoke the exact opposite of the truth of the nature of God. Worse yet, I was talking to a younger believer and could very well have been held accountable to the whole millstone thing had she not already known I was full of crap. These days I try to speak softly if I speak at all. I try to take much consideration into what I say. Strange thing is that sometimes when I purposefully speak softly and kindly, I have this strange burst of love and even affection for people come out of me. It honestly doesn't make any sense to me. I tend to like it, though.

I'm about to...scratch that, just now shaved off my moustache, completing the initial step of No-Shave November. In years past, I boasted about it and drew attention to myself. I still do that with a lot of things, telling about the cool stuff I'm going to do, drawing people's attention to me. No-Shave November is a little different, it's a communal and fraternal thing that unites guys for a common purpose, even if that purpose is as small as simply growing a beard and having one. Mostly though, I just like talking about myself. I'm a little bipolar when it comes to the subject of me. Sometimes I talk about myself until I'm certain whoever is listening is quite tired of hearing it, but then sometimes, usually when put on the spot, I hate talking about myself and would much rather talk about other people and the stuff they're doing. I'm a very contrary person many times.

For one reason or another, it happens often that when I get really excited about something and I tell everybody about something I want to do, it ends up not happening. There could be any number of reasons for this or it could all be some strange coincidence. I don't believe in coincidences, though. That alone has made me want to talk about myself less. That and the Bible warns us about talking and boasting about plans we have. If I have something important to say, I'll speak louder. I'll make sure what I'm saying is right. Until then.

 

Love,

Colton

Thoughts on Servitude and, again, Truth

There's a tension in the Christian life between insisting and having your own way and humbly giving others their way. We're called to be servants of all and servants don't get their way a lot. One thing I've learned is that I am very unimportant. In the grand scheme of things, there are many people who are a heck of a lot better at the things I'm good at. Anyone who goes to Trinity knows how many dang musicians there are, for one. My voice is small and often speaks wrong and hurtful things. I have no real worth. I will die one day and turn in to dust. People will cry, then stop crying, but the world will go on. God, however, gives me worth. God leads me on the right path, gives me the right things to say and leads me to do good things that positively effect other people. I am the branch to His True Vine. The vine will continue to grow if a branch is cut off, but the branch bears fruit. This is true for all of us. We are unneeded and unimportant, but God loves us and wants to use us and give us importance.

My point? I'm trying really really hard to not be prideful or selfish. The worth that I have does not come from anything I did or earned. Any title I gain will have no bearing on God's love for me nor will it get me into Heaven. Nope, not one little bit. I fully believe this is true for every person and is something every single person needs to understand. All that to drive the point home that my plans and thoughts and opinions and words are ultimately meaningless. At best, my own words are misguided and full of folly. If that's true, then can I serve people while insisting my own way? For clarity's sake, when I say "my own way," I mean my will, opinions, plans, thoughts, words, anything like that. I'm going to say no, I shouldn't insist my own way. Now we are imperfect people but we will get it right sometimes and our words and plans don't always lead to utter destruction like it seems like I'm saying. The world won't end if we go to the restaurant I want after church instead of the restaurant my friend wants to go to. That's a smaller way we can serve our brother, putting him and his wants and needs first. Scratch that, that's a dang important thing and we all ignore it: Serving our brothers and sisters, putting them before ourselves.

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;" Philippians 2:3 NAS

We so overlook this and I hate it. I overlook this and I hate it.

In the long run, it's so small and insignificant where we eat or what we eat. We're going to eat again in the future. And you know, if you give your friend choice of where to eat, maybe he'll give you choice next time. And maybe he won't. But serve your brother anyway, count him as more important than yourself. Do I do this? Oftentimes no. Though I did have Taco Bell twice the prior day and didn't want to eat it again. Treating others with love and caring about what they care about is servitude. They might care about silly things that don't have much real significance, but treating people with respect and at least acknowledging that what they care about is important to them is the beginning of love and servitude.

There will be times when we must insist our own way or our own will. Two people driving down a road come to a fork, one says go left the other says go right. The one saying to go left actually knows the way because he's been there, the one saying to go right just thinks he knows because Google maps told him. In this case, the one saying to go left should insist on his own way since they'll get lost if they go right. The point, though, is that the person on the left isn't saying to go left because he simply thinks going left is better or because he wants to be right, he's saying it for the benefit the people in the car. The moment we insist our own way simply because we want to be right, we start serving ourselves. It is not about us. We serve a god of Furious Love who hung Himself on a cross for us and swept through Hell on our behalf, taking the punishment due millenniums of sinners. It's not freaking about us. We must point ourselves to Jesus and we must help point everyone we can to Him. It will hurt and it will at times not be fun. We will be slapped and stepped on and put down and we will get to watch people get their way when we want our own way. But this is the greatest thing we can do because if we lay down with the intention of lifting others up, we have done our duty and been the faithful servants Jesus will greet with the "Well done."

I want to speak Truth, not because I want to speak Truth, but because I want Truth to be spoken. If it's me that speaks it or someone else, I don't care, I just want Truth to be spoken and understood. At least that's what I should want. My evil heart doesn't allow for that a lot of times. But I want to want that because I know it's right. I am a vapor and have no real substance. Jesus Christ is the eternal, transcendent, saving Truth that is the very glue for this universe. Without Him, we cannot exist. Society is quickly declining because of a rejection of ultimate Truth.

My own sinful, fleshly desires aside, I want Jesus Christ. I want everyone to worship Him and love Him. The crazy thing is that we can and should count it joy when we're stepped on and not given our way for the sake of Christ. That's what martyrdom is. The lowly servant is the happy one. Love does not insist it's own way. Love is patient and suffers for a long time. Love is the most powerful thing ever and God is love and all He wants is to love and be loved.

If I for some reason ever say something right or say something with any sort of real authority, it's because of Jesus. When I speak Truth, not for my own sake, but for the sake of others and for the sake of Truth, there's power. Not because of who is saying it, but what is being said. Truth. Jesus Christ, Savior of the world, King of Eternity.

Love, Truth,
Colton