A Post for the Sake of Having a Post

No broad topic to discuss here, no great revelation, just me talking about how I'm doing.

I'm doing pretty dang good. I'm really the happiest I've ever been. There's that joy thing again. I think I talk a lot about God and the truths He's revealed to me because I think about it a lot. Those things seem like the only important things to talk about. Sure, important stuff happens, interesting stuff, but a lot of it is overshadowed by God, which is how it ought to be, I think. But I want you to know me in the practical stuff. Reading this blog, you know what's going through my head, but not so much what I do or what things I like. Obviously I like God well enough, but that's no the entirety of me.

So again, I'm doing good. People have asked me how I'm doing a lot recently and I've usually responded "good, but busy." I'm almost always doing something, going somewhere, hanging out, meeting for coffee, running sound, doing something. I enjoy it, but it's also made me appreciate down time. And cars with good gas mileage. I've been talking to various people lately and there's a lot of ministry stuff coming down the pike which I'm super excited about. God seems pretty faithful to provide stuff, which is really nice. People keep asking me to sing and play guitar for them, so they must enjoy my playing somewhat, which is also really nice.

I've read a lot here recently, it's kind of my new addiction. Thankfully, this one is cheaper than most of the others I've had. Books are cheap in thrift stores and people give them away all the time as well as loan them out. I must admit, a large part of what I choose to read is very shallowly based on what the book looks like and the name of it. Of course the name is going to be a big part of why most people choose the books they do, but I tend to like old books for the simple fact they're older. Now there's also a greater likelihood of the book being good since publishers will put out just about anything with little fact-checking or discretion, really. But yeah, I like old books. Thankfully, those are usually the cheaper ones in thrift stores.

I've become much more vain lately. In my dress, not so much. I still wear tight t-shirts and pants and I'm happy with my wardrobe, but my hair and face have gotten more attention. It is nice having a good haircut, though. I've finally found someone that is able to consistently give me quality haircuts that I like. God bless my mom, she always cut my hair well, but I was never a huge fan of the style. The lovely Mrs. Shauna Gephart, my stylist, has also got me hooked on proper hair products.

I could think of more stuff to talk about but I'd like a nap, which is precisely what I'll do...right after I add a post-script to my last blog, clearing up something I didn't make as clear as I wanted to.

Love,
Colton

P.S. I feel silly every time it happens, but I will be tired at work, but not want to drink coffee for fear it will make me fidgety and hyped up on caffeine, but still leave me groggy. What almost always happens is that I end up drinking some and actually feeling awake and fine.

The Burden of Truth and the Unbearable Lightness of Being

As my friend Jordan Evans heard from me last night, Truth is preeminent. Okay, now before I get into my topic, I want to point out that I don't use uncommon words for the simple fact that they're uncommon. Well, usually. I use less common or bigger words because they have a more exact definition, closer to the meaning I'm trying to convey. Now that point in itself relates to the topic of this particular post, but it's half me being clear about why I do something, half me being prideful and defending my use of pretentious words.

Preeminent: (adj.)  [pree-em-uh-nuhnt] (taken from Dictionary.com and Merriam-Webster.com)
1. above or before others, superior, surpassing

2. having paramount rank, dignity, or importance : outstanding, supreme 

If Truth is not placed at the highest position, everything goes to crap. If we begin to get into Deconstructionism and Post-Modernism and Existentialism and all those philosophies, we quickly lose sight of Truth and meaning. If Truth is treated as an undefinable, nebulous thing that means whatever we want it to, everything falls apart. Morality is gone, purpose is gone. Truth is definable, yes, but determining exactly what Truth is is impossible without Jesus.

Jesus said to him, "I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6 ESV, emphasis added.

Truth is the only way people can relate to each other. People are so very different, their biases, their experiences, their prejudices, how can we ever hope to relate to other people? We share experiences, interests, we share Truth.  The same way, it is through Jesus and only through Jesus that we can relate to God. He is our sacrifice, our high priest, our mediator. 

Example time, based off an experience the other day. Here we have an apple:

The apple is green. One may call this particular shade of green Kelly green, another may call it grass green. Either have many valid reasons why they believe it is that color, let's say one is an artist, the other is a screenprinter. To them, the apple is the color they say it is, but regardless of what they say, the apple is the color that it is. They could both very well be wrong, but their wrongness or rightness does not change the color of the apple. That is Truth, and Truth is unaffected by people. Incontrovertible.

My first point is that Truth is so incredibly important. It's something I've been thinking so much about lately. People get well caught up in their ideas and presuppositions and even things they've learned and they often lose sight of the Truth. I understand the need for knowledge and its importance, but I also know that things people have believed beyond the tiniest shadow of a doubt to the point of putting people to death because they didn't believe the same have been proven wrong, one example being when people thought the earth was the center of the universe. It was heretical to believe otherwise. The Truth that the earth is not the center of the universe hasn't ever changed, though. How then do we pursue Truth rather than knowledge, which has been proven wrong many times before? It's Jesus. Oh my, is it ever Jesus.

I try really hard to attain truth. I miss it a lot since I'm human. It's frustrating most often since I'm wrong a lot and it's much easier to go about life leaning on my and others' suppositions. But that just doesn't work. That doesn't quite settle it for me. Now I'm not saying I'm always, 100% of the time truthful. Whether it be a misunderstanding or my own pride, I don't speak truth. But then I feel dumb and go about trying to have Truth around my waist, holding my pants up so I don't show my ass again. For the purpose of finding Truth, I try to be precise in my language so people get what I'm saying rather than what they think I'm saying. Again, I'm bad at this sometimes and I don't get my point across, but it's better to keep trying.

So, point one is this: Jesus is Truth. Truth is found only in Him. For this reason and the reason that Truth is the only thing that we can count on, Truth is and ought to be preeminent to all.

Now then, the unbearable lightness of being. The book where I got that phrase from focuses on the idea that since we have only one life, there's not much pressure. In a way, our one life is incredibly important and heavy because it is our one and only shot. At the same time, however, the Bible talks about how our days are like a breath, here then gone. A single breath, a patch of dust, these things aren't important and are quickly gone. Everything we do is both exalted and made humble by Jesus' sacrifice. Our works alone don't save us, Jesus does, our faith does. Our faith is dead without works, however, so they are indeed important. All this, however, is well overshadowed by Jesus dying on the cross. 

People place so much importance on this life, forgetting that it's a very, very small part of the story. This side of eternity literally can not compare to the other side. It doesn't work mathematically. The point is to do our absolute best while having in mind the fact that Jesus has saved us and we cannot compare or come close to doing anything anywhere near the worth of what Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit do every day. I don't think I need a lot more explaining than that, I'd just be rambling and repeating myself if I did. And I never do that...

Sarcasm aside, be happy. Happiness is important. It's hard to want to do anything side from acquainting yourself with a pint of Ben and Jerry's if you're unhappy. Being, existing, doing life isn't so nearly as hard as we think. Jesus has promised to take care of us. Job went through some incredibly hard times, but was doubly blessed when it was all over. Pain recedes, our old bodies are glorified, we meet Jesus face to face.

To recap: Truth is found only in Jesus. Truth is the only hope for an imperfect and unholy people.  Life is ultimately easy because we have Jesus. The reward is much greater that we can see. 

Love,

Colton

P.S. I didn't stress enough our personal burden of Truth. Truth is important, but the only way it can have the prevalence it needs is if we all constantly put aside ourselves and seek Truth. We must seek Truth. Not knowledge, not opinions, nothing but Truth. That, and I must stress this one more time, is only found in Jesus Christ. Everything else is chaff. We are commanded to bring the Gospel, the Good News, to all the world before Jesus returns, the Gospel being the Truth of Jesus. It is our duty, which is only able to be accomplished with and through God. Go speak Truth.

Thoughts on patience and giving a crap and my ambivalence towards that.

TL;DR: Live life, make decisions, don't fret. I'm Colton and I make a lot of sense sometimes, but today my thoughts aren't incredibly coherent.

I've noticed that I manage twice-monthly posts on this blog, so I figured it's about time for another. I am in a strange season right now as many friends will attest to my claiming that. As I was telling my Baptist friend Jacob today, I almost always want to skip steps. When I'm doing tedious or menial tasks, physical stuff, I like doing everything in order and doing it properly, but when it comes to people or relationships or life, I want to skip steps. Physical pain easily fades, I have just faint memories of the worst pain I've ever been in, nothing that scares me or keeps me from doing stuff now. The thought of emotional work and doing stuff that's not easy is scary, though. I know it's necessary and I always end up a better person from either the experience or the lesson learned from it, but that doesn't make it any easier in my head. A thing that goes along with that is that since I'm a pretty black and white person (much to my own chagrin), I tend to hate the transitional learning period because of the lack of wholeness in it. I want to be done with something shortly after I start it simply because I don't like not being "there". I hate mess-ups and especially steps backward. These are all necessary in the learning process, but it's a pain in the butt.

Patience. Yep, patience is what God's working with me on right now. I'm too impatient for this.

It is, however, in the steps, the mess-ups, the mistakes where we learn the lesson. That said, I'm 20 years old and often feel as dumb as I did when I was 16, making similar, if not the same mistakes. Thankfully, I make them less frequently. I talked with a friend last night who's in his mid 30's (man, I have a lot of friends who are older than me) and he was describing to me how he still feels like he's 18, it just hasn't sunk in yet. I also have friends who are younger than me that say they feel old. Life, feeling old or young, being mature, they're all fickle things. The more I grow into God, the less I care about that stuff. It all comes out in the wash, I think. I care about that stuff and about appearing a certain way because the desire to care about it is innate within me, but the more I learn of God and the closer I grow, the less important that stuff becomes. Yes, being mature is important, don't get me wrong, but becoming mature comes from growing in God and making proper decisions, not willing or wishing or thinking yourself mature. That's why I try not to fret too much about feeling young or feeling old or feeling or being mature. Those dang decisions though, that's part of the whole "steps" thing that I want to skip. It's inescapable, life is a series of decisions, or however that inspirational quote goes, and I will always have decisions to make, steps to take and all that. (The Step-by-Step theme song is playing in my head right now.)

Breather. Okay, let's boil this down to the simple points that I do for myself and for the reader that may be lost in the point I'm trying to make since I'm not that good at making a cohesive point with any tact:

• Life is difficult at times, but is usually only as difficult as we let it be. 
• Don't fret, just live and trust God. He's better at this than you. See above bullet point.
• I'm really, really ADD today. Many rabbits found in the holes I've traveled in my conversations today.
• I'm impatient, but the main way one becomes more patient is to just simply be patient when things test your impatience. Like my friend Alex Norwood says "Don't ever pray for patience." 
• The only thing I care about right now, which is a good and perhaps bad thing, is God. That entails Jesus, my relationships with people and my ability to love them and show them the love of their Savior. Good because, well, that's good, but bad because I don't care that much about anything else. Like my job or whether or not I have money in my bank account. I care some, but the only reason I care about those is because they're relevant to my loving people and God.
• Like I said, it all comes out in the wash. Get your priorities in order and it will all fall into place. Lord I hope that's true, look at the previous bullet point.
• Scripture and really the whole Trinity is kicking my butt right now. 
• I love life. Oh my gosh do I love life. It's awesome. I wish people who hated life could see what I see. As much as I complain about stuff and even life itself, I love it and could not currently think of doing anything else. 
• Random songs that have entered my head during the course of this blog: the Step-by-Step theme, Alive by P.O.D., and one more I can't remember. Wait, it was How to Save a Life by The Fray. Not sure why.
• Whoooo, I'm lacking in making sense today!

Haha, well, any semblance of coherence in thought now gone, I'll wrap up. I am a son of God. He will always be my Dad and I'll always be learning from Him. That relieves a lot of pressure. Now you, yeah you, stop fretting. 

Hahaha, oh gosh. I hope I don't weird anyone out. Like I said, I'm feeling strange today. I normally make more sense than this, I'm sorry. I'll make more sense tomorrow, hopefully. One thing I'm certain of is that I am a multifaceted individual. There is rarely a normal Colton, but the one most common aspect is that I'm smiling a lot. At least that's an aspect I like to have a lot.

Gah.

Love,
Colton

Love, it'll make you a man, it'll make you a child again.

It's 10:30pm on a Thursday and I have to be at work at 5:00am tomorrow morning. I just don't find much motivation to go to bed and get sleep, really. I'm putting off getting ready for a trip I'm going on I guess because I just don't feel like packing now. I have most of my laundry done, I just have to put it all away. That, however, isn't the topic at hand or the reason I started writing a blog tonight.

I am so very happy. Joy fills my chest and I'm thankful for that. God is wonderful and I'm a jerk and that's okay because God is, as I said, wonderful. The past few days have been ridiculously encouraging and I'm ready for a fight I'm so excited. I have moments of sadness, moments of frustration, even doubt and confusion, but the underlying understanding and knowledge of God's grace and His gifts to us don't cease. I'm still in the process of wrangling my thought processes and starving out the sin inherent in my human body, but I seem to be making some progress and I thank God for that.

One thing I've noticed which makes me really really happy is that my love for people and things has grown lately. Because of my heightened emotions right now, I can also get more frustrated with people than I have in the past, but I am also a lot more understanding of the human condition and the fact that we can't do a dang thing about our sin apart from Jesus. I love the quirkiness of my friends and the little things they don't like about themselves tend to be some of the things I like best. I sometimes fear that the fact I'm happy turns people off from me, even pisses people off, but perhaps that means I'm doing it right.

Man, I could go on and on about all the stuff that's changing right now. I will say however that the human body is a complex thing and that it was designed to love. All the systems work together, if one thing is off, it throws other stuff off. This includes the physical as well as the emotional and the spiritual. One example is this: One gets exercise walking, the more one walks, the more exercise is had. If we then are made to love and one part of love is putting others before yourself, then parking farther away from an entrance to a building not only is considerate of others and thus loving, but also does yourself well by getting just a little bit more exercise than you would if you'd parked in one of the handicap spots. Now I know this isn't the most rock solid logic and it could be said that giving another person an opportunity to exercise more than yourself is also considerate, but it's like opening a door for someone. They'll most likely be okay if you didn't do it, but the consideration is the important part, I think. My point is that we are holistic beings, spiritually, physically, emotionally. Now go open a door for somebody.

I've been writing a lot here lately, a few of you know that. I hope I get a good couple of songs knocked out this next week up in the mountains of Kentucky. I'm taking the scenic route, jumping off the interstate 30 miles before I even hit Kentucky. 

I love everyone, or at least try to. I wouldn't want that any other way. God is so good, grow close to Him, understand the worth He has put in you, and what He's done for you in sacrificing His Son. Freaking yell, jump up and down, run, love, just exist as much as you can and glorify Him in all you do. NOTHING at all matters except for God and what He wants us to do, a big part of which is to simply understand that He loves us.

God, let us love all the more. Grow us into Your will for us. Let us know Your joy more and more every day.

FREAKING LOVE, MAN!
Colton