Thoughts on Being Okay with Who You Are (and Pretentiousness)

"I'll have a grande 5-pump, no water, soy Chai with one Sweet & Low at 145 degrees with light foam, and make sure it's light foam and 145 degrees."

I got this from a customer a couple of weeks back. This, or at least something similar, spawned the "Self-Entitlement" song we are fond of singing at Starbucks. I constantly struggle with being okay with who I actually am and trying not to seek validation from others' opinions of me. The funny thing is that when people do this, they get the opposite result they want, most times. Let it be stated forthright that I'm talking about myself moreso than anyone else in this blog.

(I'll keep this blog short, if only to forgo getting down on myself for being stupidly guilty of this for enjoying the lovely day outside)

God made us who we are. Most often times, if not all of the time, any bad habits we have are actually good habits or things that are misdirected. God gave us the genes He did on purpose, gave us the parents He did for a reason, gave us our eccentricities intentionally. Wishing you were different or trying to be different or your idea of better than who you are is, at it's core, dishonoring God. If people don't like you for who you are, then they won't be your friend and that is totally okay.

The fact you like stupidly complicated drinks doesn't make you cool or any better of a person, it gives you no more control over your life. Anyone who knows me knows I have liked my stupidly complicated drinks, hopefully they know me well enough to know that I recently have simplified my drinks. I can still taste the difference between half a pump and a whole pump of vanilla in my chai, but I'm now less picky about it. I've also given up my double tall, half-caf, breve, wet cappuccino with two raw sugars.

Stop having pretenses about yourself, be honest. Stop the constant self-evaluation, love yourself as your neighbor. Just freaking love God, dummy. You know how to do this.

Love,
Colton

P.S. This probably has a darker tone than I meant to, probably because I was fretting over how much of a butthole I can be at times. It's honestly not such a grave thing, everyone does it and God probably just chuckles at how silly we are. To quote Aaron Weiss, "We're like children dressing in our parents' clothes, saying 'nobody knows me, nobody knows me, no one knows my name.'" Fret not, loves and children, God loves us through our pretentiousness and general silliness. Reread this while having in mind the scene of sitting in a sunny window. After you reread this, go outside and enjoy the sun, free from glass.