Two days from now I will be 21. This is kind of strange to me. See, I get myself built up to these things and get all excited about reaching a certain point, but many times there's not much that's special there. Being 16 was notable since I got my license and could drive places without my parents. Being 18 was kind of notable since I felt a little more grown up and could buy cigarettes and porn. Twenty was weird because I could no longer call myself a teenager. I still honestly think of myself as being anywhere from 16-18, though. Now that I'm almost 21, I'll soon be able to buy beer and can get into some concerts or restaurants I couldn't get into before. Aside from getting to do more stuff, I haven't felt terribly different when I became any notable age. Once it sunk in and I realized that I was in fact older, I did feel a little older but in retrospect things weren't terribly different. This whole paragraph has been about how I've felt different but not felt different. I've confused myself, I think. Let's try again.
Two days from now I will be 21. This is kind of strange to me. I'll be able to buy beer and get into Barley's after 10pm, but beyond that, not much will be different. With each notable age I've reached, Ive gained new things I could do, but none of them aside from being able to drive by myself are really worth much to me. I managed to get along fine before I could go to 18+ shows or buy cigarettes, I managed to survive this long without being able to drink, I could always find an adult to go with if I wanted to see an R-rated movie. Being certain ages now allows me to do important things like rent cars or open checking accounts or stuff like that, but most of what people wait for is largely unimportant. That's not to say I haven't partaken of the privileges I was granted when I hit 17 or 18 or that I won't do what I couldn't do before when I turn 21. The point, though, is that I'm okay without those things. It bugs the heck out of me when someone goes on about being deprived of their rights or privileges.
I've made mention before of my lack of sympathy for people when they talk about what they're owed. Sure, go ahead and want something, there's nothing wrong with that, but when you go on about what you're owed and what you deserve, you're treading dangerous water. James 1 talks about asking for faith, but it makes mention that we shouldn't expect anything from God. Tell me, what have you done lately that has earned you something from God? I haven't done much in that regard. Now Paul does talk about his rights in 1 Corinthians, but he talks about how he willingly gives up his rights.
My point, before I begin to sound holier-than-thou as is the prideful tendency, is that I'm not going to let any of my privileges become a thing. It'll be nice to have a beer with some friends or go to a 21+ show, but I don't want that to become an issue. I've smoked various types of tobacco on and off since I turned 18, but it's not important to me. Half the time I wonder why I even do it anyway. That said, I could easily give it up since I don't hold it dear to my heart. I don't hold it dear to my heart simply because I know it's a contentious thing with people and my relationships with people are more important than whether or not I smoke. By the same token, I will not let drinking a beer get in the way of anything that is important.
This is a long issue that has a lot of stuff to be addressed in it. I'm going to leave it at this: We aren't owed anything. The things we think we are owed aren't worth anything. Nothing beyond our relationship with God and people is really that important
"13The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. 14For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil." Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 (emphasis added)
That pretty much sums it up. Ecclesiastes is one of my favorite books in that it's right up my alley, saying that everything is meaningless and pointless. Folly, even. Whether or not we had respect, whether or not we were treated properly, whether or not we smoked cigarettes, whether or not we enjoyed alcohol, nothing at all matters. Our relationship with God is the important thing. The only important thing.
Haha, on the eve of my 21st birthday, I come to the realization of how sobering the things God has been showing me are. Oh, irony.
Love, man.
Colton
P.S. It's also very, very important to mention that just because someone reaches a certain age, that does not mean that they are all of a sudden entitled to or are free from anything. "Oh man, when I turn 18, I'm not going to have to listen to my parents anymore." "When I hit 19, I'm going to do what I want." "Once I'm 20, no one will be able to tell me what to do anymore." "My 21st will be awesome since I'm going to now be able to justify what I've been disobeying and doing all along." Age is a number. It's a reference point, but it isn't a magical apex that grants you anything. In my experience, a mother doesn't stop loving or worrying when her son turns 18. The son doesn't magically know better when he hits 18. He's still dumb and rebellious, just a year older. At least that was the case for me, I don't know about you. Retard.
♥-c
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