I'll start off with the topic I had thought about writing about the other day. Then I'll start hollerin' and cussin'.
I find it ever more strange how people can just look at other people and know if they're Christian or not. Now I've been surprised in the past by finding out someone was Christian that I didn't know was, so at least for me it's not always something I can see. Yeah, the ankle-length denim skirt is going to be a giveaway, but it's more than that. Stranger still is that non-Christians can even tell who the Christians are. When I went out for my birthday, some very drunk people decided to get on the stage at Boyd's Jig and Reel and sing really loudly, off-key, and profanely. And they kept on. And we told them to get off the stage. And they kept on. And I went up and calmly explained that I was trying to have a nice birthday dinner with my friends. And they kept on. When the Kenny Rogers look-a-like bouncer got them off the stage, the guy who was the leader for their impromptu, drunken band mumbled "fucking Christians" as he got off the stage. I'm really glad I didn't hear him for several reasons. It's just strange because we weren't wearing Christian t-shirts, we didn't have our Bibles on the table, half of the people there at my party weren't even Christian. But somehow he knew.
Maybe it was the fact of us not wanting him to yell "mammaries" while plunking away on an upright bass that gave it away, but I feel like anyone wanting a nice quiet dinner would request the same. This was an instance where we were well-behaved and we handled it calmly and properly. But there are too many instances where Christians are assholes. There is no other word for it. I called a long-time friend "fat" tonight because I thought it would be funny. That makes me a really big jerk. Be it reasons like this or more "holy" reasons, Christians get a really bad rap. This is because we freaking deserve it. We are not known for our love as Jesus commanded us to be. No, we're known for being ignorant assholes. This breaks my heart.
Jesus' name wasn't meant to be used as a PR trick. It wasn't meant to get people on your side so they'll vote for you or to use your plumbing service. No, Jesus' name was meant to inspire love and spread hope. Jesus' name was not meant to justify our own agendas and ideals. Jesus name was meant to revolutionize and utterly shift our wicked selves.
There's so much wrong with the Church. Jesus' bride, at the moment, is sullied and short-sighted. I want to be clear when I say that I don't give a shit about your healing ministry when people died because they stopped their HIV medication because you said they were healed. I don't give a shit about your prayer meetings when your marriage just ended because you couldn't pull your head out of the false glory you conjure up. And I don't give a shit about what small titles you hold in your church when you can't stop criticizing your friends on absolutely inconsequential, trivial shit.
(That last one there, that one is me.)
To be very clear, I have seen a man regain his sight in front of me. I have seen impossible things happen because of prayer. I've seen prideful, ignorant people teach me lessons that leave me feeling more prideful and ignorant than I thought they were. It's ultimately all redeemed by the sacrifice of the blood of Jesus, all our stupidities and sin, but with only some foresight we can make it better for ourselves and save ourselves some heartache. Jesus is and wants to be our Redeemer, but I really honestly think He wants us to make good decisions that glorify Him, too. We're constantly given the chance to either glorify God or make fools of ourselves and we all too often do the latter. It's because we never focus on the very basic principles.
We need to love people more. That's it. I need to love people more. When you love somebody, the focus is on them. But no, we just focus on ourselves and what we want and pleasing whatever stupid, contrived ideas we come up with. We inexplicably have the crowned King of the Universe, in His entirety, contained within us, but we still focus on ourselves! I prayed to be ever-aware of my dependence on God and this is what I'm shown!
I try to run from Christianese. I don't care about your weekly prophecy bulletin. I don't care about increasing my territory. I don't care about your trip to the Third Throneroom that's decorated in lilac and cherubim. The unimportant stuff tends to be first in our line of visions and thus what we focus on. My Coke is flat, she was mean to me, I hate my job. Because we're "saved", we think we're entitled to stuff. We complain about things that don't matter!
I could go on about this forever. I say all these things knowing I'm not excluded from them. The winter makes me cynical. I am wrong about things and a couple of years down the road I'll look back and go "oh man, what was I thinking?"
We are irrevocably dependent on the Love and Grace of Jesus Christ. "5Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." Phil 2:5-7
We don't get it. I pray we do. I believe. Help my unbelief.
Love, the only important thing, the thing I wish I had more of,
Colton
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