I've begun to understand what my older friends say when they say "the older I get, the less I know." I am at ease with the fact that I think I know everything when I don't actually know much of anything. The wonderful fact that seemingly opposing thoughts can in truth be the same thought is great. I've found some small emotional maturity in the fact that I now know I have none and will have only a little by the time I die. My complete and utter dependency on Jesus is the only thing of importance. In the light of Jesus' perfection, I am a very small and very dumb creature and that is good. I've grown up a lot recently, enough to realize I've a long way to go and for some odd reason, I look forward to it.
I've become truly happy with life recently. This, I think, is due in part to my allowing myself to be dependent on God and the fact that I'm beginning to experience love in the sense of the Greek word "agape". This is God's love for me and the love I yearn to show others because they have shown me. Unhindered, unconditional, benevolent love. I am thankful for what I have and am somewhat aware of Jesus and the Goodness of Everything.
The silly, un-Charismatic thing about all this is that I don't feel a darn thing aside from joy. I don't have the warm fuzzies when I hear the name Jesus, I don't feel approving eyes looking on me from Heaven, I don't see the slow-motion, billowy tunics of angels flying around, but I have an understanding and a joy that comes from that understanding and that is all I want or need. The warm fuzzies have led me astray far too many times for me to be too fond of them, but this, however, I think I'll keep.
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 ESV
All things work together for good and for the glory of God. That is freaking amazing. So amazing, in fact, that I feel no need for consistency in my posts or coherence in my thoughts.
Love,
Colton
P.S. Though I halfway promised I wouldn't talk about it anymore, the next blog will be dedicated to Post-Modern thought: the pros, cons, and why I generally don't like it.
1- There are no pros to postmodernism. And 2- I liked this blog. If I learned anything from Dwight Schrute, it's KISS: Keep It Simple, Stupid. "Great advice, hurts my feelings every time. All Office quotes aside, I applaud you this time.
ReplyDeleteI think there are a couple of pros to it, but by and large, it's no bueno. But that will be discussed in my next blog. And thank you. Your wording makes me curious about your opinion on my other posts, but I'm going to take the compliment as is.
ReplyDelete